We are in a rush to teach children so many things. While we desire them to be impeccable human beings we need to understand that they are still developing so many aspects of their personalities. If they act in a certain way, it is for a reason and not because they are being bad or naughty.
Toddlers and even young preschoolers have not yet developed the ability to reason and the ability to empathize. They function on instinct. They see their need first and that is not selfishness; it is their need for self-preservation. This makes it difficult for them to share.
How do we help our child to share?
Don’t Force: Force doesn’t work with adults nor with children. Never force children to share especially things that are really special for them.
Experiences: Children learn through experiences and observations. When children experience empathy, care and nurturing in their environment, they seek to do the same once they develop the maturity. With experiences children may come to terms with the idea of ‘taking turns.’
Acknowledge and Prepare: Speak to your child ahead of time and help him identify somethings they are okay to share. Acknowledge a child’s feelings when he doesn’t want to share. “These blocks are precious. You really find it hard to have your friend use them. When you are ready he can have his turn. In the mean while your friend can play with these”. (these is what has been set aside). You can tell his friend, “Ansh is not ready to share his blocks. He will give you a turn when he is ready. He is happy to share these with you.”
You can also help a preschooler divide his toys into ‘sharing toys’ and ‘special toys’. That way a child feels in control of his possessions.
Learning to share is a long process and it will be done only once a child is ready.